My mum had a hysterectomy in the 1990s. She later found out that she did not have to have it. I remember my father coming back from India to look after her.
Is Jones Day a Christian law firm? What was Gouldens? What religion is the College/ University of Law? Has Oxford gotten complacent with Christchurch and Corpus Christi and Jesus College? What has the internet done to the dominance of Oxford and Cambridge and can other nations compete for knowledge with them and end London’s dominance and Victorian society over the world and the imagination?
I’m not a corporate shareholder. This affects my role in time and makes me suffer as someone who rents a room in my mum’s house for £150 a month and makes me feel the long term effects of having smoked marijuana and feeling the pain of criminals and those who give in to sex life.
The Prophet Muhammed is wound up with me with Shantideva’s biblical life in the 700s and his made up role as a Boddhisattva and covering for Muhammed and the Messia with his prayer for salvation of all beings. Kuan Yin is tied to Shantideva and China is being asked to get involved with Islam – especially in Africa and to spare us the religion of Englishness as they get tired and try light working in the universities and give in to special powers and suffer for want of reading ability and explain where they get their money from.
My father shared with me openly after the divorce how much he missed my mother and how in love with her he was. He attempted to commit suicide because she was leaving him and slashed his wrists. I know because I saw the bandages on his wrists and walked in on them together; my father crying on my mother’s lap.
The Queen wants to research my father in relation to my own poetry and success and failure in life. His life from Jalandhar and travels to England and his influence on proceedings as living in this country for 20 years will be a game changer for studies and culture in the future.
My brother had eczema growing up and failed hi A-Levels because he was having panic attacks during exams. He was under too much pressure to uphold the family tradition and had been burdened by my parents to shiled me from the relatives during the divorce and act the part of a big brother – something he doe to this day.
Loving and living at home with one’s elderly mother is stressful and it is not easy being poor and not being to take her out and have lunch. She has always watched the pennies and I need to catch up with householder and start earning money and paying my way in the world.
My brother was an excellent Karate instructor and reached brown belt under Shukokai Black Belt and now tenth Dan Malcom Hudson. He had to give up the martial arts because Malcolm told him that having one leg shorter than the other could lead Ritesh being in a wheelchair when he was older. I studied Karate too and got up to green belt. I went down to orange belt because I missed too many lessons.
It’s all just change.
I had haemorrhoids from the age of 13 to 24. I went to hospital for an operation. My colon would protrude from my anus by about 2-3 inches when I went for a shit. After my operation they had gone but soon came back. I did not tell anyone and suffered poor bowel movements until I came back from India when my body was healed. It was punishment from Buddha for choosing a rebirth and not being able to pray to Him and sit in Lotus while affecting the Dalai Lama’s practice and negotiations with Tibet. Jehovah told me I was like Adam and then I fell from grace when I left Jones Day in 2003 and the woman I was living with Kate Warnock Smith who now works at Hull University. he said he punished all of mankind for my sin and haunted me for a decade afterwards.
Sexual lust seems so childish when viewed in hindsight and is tainted with sexual guilt on the way of the boddhisattva.
I left home at 17 to study at Oxford and came back i the holidays or went to my father’s flat in London. And when I left Oxford in 2000 I moved to London for two years. I still don’t feel like I have properly come back home. I spent the years 2010-2011 living in London. There is something about London and making it that has not settled in Birmingham. My mum has been at work ever since we were children in Birmingham and worked in London in the 2000s at the BBC. Ritesh has visited London but never studied or lived there. It must be like New York or Las Vegas and have a tie to people through the news as the capital of the UK that it frequently figures in my thoughs and stops me from settling down at home in Birmingham. My mum bought the house in the 2010s after going on a buy to rent scheme from the council since moving on in 1993. Every year she marks the date that we moved in and when our father stopped paying the rent on the old house and when bailiffs came and kicked us out of our family home in Rubery. We lived with a school friend for a week while the Council found us somewhere to live.
I saw The Never Ending Story a couple of years ago at the cinema. It was a retro showing of an old film – something that is quite a good idea for the cinema. I had seen it in my youth and enjoyed the adventure. Where did they get the special effects from and how was it made – these are documentaries that would have bolstered the imagination over time – not having stars pose on Facebook, Instagram and Tik Tok. It occurred to me when watching it just how far away Krishna Loka is from conventional reality and the everyday affairs of western men and women. The end scene when they show the princess trapped in her palace in the stars: What if she is dreaming of getting to Krishna Loka and needs a connection to the earth to establish her reality.
Presently I take Sertraline, Risperidone, Atvorstatin and Metformim medication. I am struggling to keep up with the western calendar and take it every day as I see China a lot and am thinking about the Tibetan calendar and am naturally linked to the Indian calendar with my tolerance of the treatment I am receiving as the Devi in the soul cages at the back of the Shree Geeta Bhawan Mandir who has been rebirthed an ordinary Rishi householder life in Birmingham UK and only speaks English.
